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Thursday, April 7, 2016

Dating Tips from an Only Child: Learning how to Compromise

"Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse 'I love you.' Go to work, do your best and don't forget to compromise." 

...Wait, that's not how the song goes.


A lot of people think that if you love someone, then that's all that matters and the rest should come naturally. I hate to break it to you, but that is far from the truth. Having been in a long-distance relationship for the past three years, I can confidently tell you that dating someone takes work, no matter how in love you are. And, whether you're an only child or not, we all have to learn how to compromise. It's just easier, I'm assuming, when you learn at age five rather than by the time you're an adult. But, what other choice did I have when I was the only child in my house and was rarely ever forced to have to find a common ground with anyone?

Alex (my boyfriend), and I have gotten into multiple fights because whenever he wants something his way, which isn't often, I'm always being my stubborn, only-child self. I had always been so used to being the only decision-maker in my life so I had no clue how to adapt to this new concept of considering another person's opinion. I was always right and anyone who disagreed with me was wrong. I think it's pretty obvious where this mindset got me. We went through a lot of these petty fights before I realized that the normal and healthy thing to do in a relationship is to compromise. (Kudos to the one and only Alex Mantica for dealing with me before I came to this realization.)

All I'm saying is if you can't compromise about the little things like where to go for dinner or what movie to rent from Redbox, then how do you expect to handle the bigger situations like what house to buy and where to invest your money? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should compromise your beliefs or who you are as a person. But, sometimes it's ok to just let it go and agree to disagree instead of constantly arguing about the same thing.

In the past three years I've had to fight all of my selfish and controlling inhibitions and force myself to not always have things go my way. It got easier after awhile and now it makes me happy to make decisions with instead of for Alex. I'm proud to say that we're in a more mature and loving relationship now that I've (mostly) gotten over that stubbornness that comes with being an only child.







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