Express Yourself: Why Being Alone is a Good Thing

"It's not what you look like

When you're doin' what you're doin'

It's what you're doin' when you're doin'

What you look like you're doin'

Express yourself!"

Ok, so maybe Charles Wright & The Watts weren't 100% clear when they wrote this song, so let me fill you in on what I think they were talking about.

Being an only child can get pretty lonely. When I was younger, baby dolls were my life and movies were my escape. Before the invention of the internet the only real game I could play on my own was Solitaire (you know that ancient, single-player card game where you lay out the cards in a row and then flip them over until you create stacks of each suit in numerical order). If you're not so familiar, let me tell you, it was pretty exhilarating when I beat... myself. Other than that, multiple player games, like Twister got pretty boring when my parents didn't want to play with me.

The point is, I got used to being by myself and realized as I got older that just because you might feel alone at times or like you don't fit in anywhere, doesn't mean that it has to be a bad thing. In fact, it can be a great thing if you make it that way. Some people drive themselves crazy spending their whole lives trying to fit in with a certain crowd or constantly searching for the person they are supposed to spend the rest of their lives with. Sometimes it even gets to the point where their happiness or self-worth is validated by the opinions of others. If you're one of these people, pay close attention. Here are three reasons why being alone is a good thing.

1. At the risk of sounding cheesy, being alone lets you discover who you really are. When I was younger I had a blank slate and could choose what type of person I wanted to be and could express myself freely. I couldn't be compared to any other children in my family because I was the only one. I also had time to experiment, whether it was with the style of clothes I wore, the sports I played or the pictures I drew.  My mom even let me do my own make up on Halloween. (I think I did a pretty good job for a four year old if I do say so myself). However, for those of you who aren't only children, maybe you had expectations to meet or footsteps to follow in. Just remember that you always have the chance to start fresh and become the person you want to be, and spending some good old quality time with yourself can help you do that.

2. Being alone helps you discover your passions. As I got older, surprisingly I found a more serious passion than smearing some cheap costume make up all over my face, and that was my passion in gymnastics. I made time to invest my whole life in that sport for 13 years and focus my energy on bettering myself through the sport instead of anxiously trying to fit in in places and with people that didn't make me happy.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't still spend time with others and be social, which I also did, I'm just saying that if you're stuck in a situation where you're feeling lonely, maybe you just got over a break up, are in a fight with your friends or just feel like no one is on your side, it's ok. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, use this gift of time as a blessing to find whatever your passion is and better yourself as a person.

3. Being alone allows you to be selfish. When you don't have a significant other to always have to compromise with or anyone else to take into consideration (besides your parents), you have the chance to put yourself first. After high school, I decided to move away and start a life in NYC, granted I started dating someone the summer before I left, but you know some things don't always work out as planned, am I right? However, I didn't let that alter my decision to venture off on my own and discover a new world and all the possibilities that come with it because I knew that I couldn't be truly happy in my relationship unless I was happy with myself first. It's ok to be selfish sometimes and it's a good thing to take advantage of when you feel alone. Moving to NYC is one of the best investments I've ever made in myself and I couldn't have done it if I didn't realize that being alone is a good thing.