Investing in Relationships 101:

“Make new friends,

but keep the old,

one is silver,

and the other’s gold.”

If you were a Girl Scout in elementary school, then I’m sure you’ve heard this song a time or two. If not, you totally missed out on a crazy world full of competing with other eight-year-olds on who could sell the most thin mints. After all, who doesn’t enjoy a little “healthy” competition? Former Girl Scout or not, there’s a lot to be said about these lyrics. What it all comes down to is that investing in relationships, whether old or new, is important. –Scout’s honor

I learned how to invest in relationships at a very young age; Three to be exact. I was playing in my yard one day and spotted a young girl on the other side of the fence. We walked right up to each other, with our tiny heads barely peaking over the chain-links and introduced ourselves. Her name was Kayla. We said to each other, “Wanna be friends?” And the rest is history.

Unfortunately, as I’m sure you all know by now, making new friends and keeping them around for 18 years isn’t always that easy. I was just one of the lucky ones.

Kayla became like a sister to me. Her grandma lived next door and babysat her while her parents were at work so we basically got to play Barbie’s and drink Sunny D together every day. Since I didn’t have any siblings to play with, my friendship with Kayla taught me a lot about how important it is to build long-lasting relationships. I don’t want to bore those of you just looking for simple answers, so for those who want the full stories be sure to click on the bolded topics to read more. And, without further ado, here are three (of about a thousand) things that my three-year-old self would tell you about how to invest in healthy relationships:

1. Put yourself out there. Now I can’t remember exactly how I felt when I was walking to the edge of my fence preparing to ask Kayla to be my friend, but I’m sure I was nervous. “Will she share her beanie babies with me?” “I hope she likes The Powerpuff Girls.” “What if she doesn’t use BLO pens?” The point is, you will always have doubts about making yourself vulnerable and reaching out to new people, but sometimes amazing relationships can come out of it. I would hate to think that if Kayla and I never worked up the courage to introduce ourselves then we wouldn’t have had these past 18 years of laughter and tears.

2. Let go of control. Poor Kayla. She was my first encounter with the real world, meaning my bratty, spoiled self had never lost at a game of Checkers or Chutes and Ladders until she came along, and she’ll  tell you herself, she took the brunt end of the deal. Learning how to let go of control is something I still struggle with to this day, but if you don’t learn how to do this, you might miss out on all the amazing things your friends have to offer and teach you. You might even end up pushing away some pretty important people.

3. Make an effort. Sure, Kayla and I spent almost every day together until we were like ten. But then life happened. We got busy and made other friends. It wasn’t always easy or convenient to hang out, especially because we went to different schools, and especially now that I live 800 miles away. But, no matter how hard it was and still is, it's always worth making the extra effort. Whether you moved away and are trying to stay in touch with old friends or are trying to make time in your busy life for your new friends, making an effort is by far the most important part in creating and maintaining relationships.